Weddings are such a complicated affair, aren't they? Months of planning, huge expenditures, attention to details, blah blah blah... When Sandeep and I decided to get married 6 months ago and the marriage date was fixed as march 7th, there was still so much time then. Everyone was taking it easy. I don't mean to say that we procrastinated and now there's a shortage of time. It's just that the intricacies of planning a marriage did not come to the fore up until now. And now that we've begun planning, i find myself completely disagreeing with the concept of the marriage function in India. It's just a big waste! What should be a nice simple family gathering turns into a huge affair wherein the most important people, the bride, bridegroom parents of both the bride and bridegroom are stressed out.
Incessant meetings with people on stage with lights glaring at our faces. That's the first thing that scared me. I have absolutely no stage fright, but standing under those lights for a minute in the choultry made me shudder at the prospect of spending hours up there with additional lights from the cameras. It's blinding! And then there'd probably be more meetings on the next day with those who couldn't make it to the reception. This after following all rituals and sitting in front of the homa. I pity the bride. The men have it easy no? One panche and shalya. But us, the women. OMG! First there's that heavy silk saree. And then the jewellery. And then the hair and flowers. Enjoyable but only to an extent.
You know what i enjoyed a lot? My engagement. Simple family affair. My biggest wish right now would be to have just those many people for my wedding. Ok fine, 100 more. Will do!
I have a huge problem with standing for 300+ photos on the day of the reception. First, i'll me meeting people i haven't met in years and wouldn't be meeting for years after. And it would go without saying that i wouldn't remember them, so i'd have to pretend to remember them. And then pictures with them. Here's a question. Do we care if we take a photo with them or not? Here's another one. Do they care if they have a photo taken with us or not? Answer to both is no. I honestly don't. Brutal honesty, but i really don't. I'd look at pics with family and friends for hours but the rest is just not something i'm bothered about. I have been to many weddings and have stood with the bride and groom (whom i wouldn't remember or know) for a photo. You think i would show any interest in seeing it? Unless it's the wedding of a close relative or friend, it wouldn't matter. And deep within your heart, you don't care if you see your pics at those weddings you've been to as well ;)
It's all a massive waste. Now here's an interesting situation. Most people's wedding would have been a traditional big one. My mum's friend's wedding was simple. How simple, you ask? Lets see. Head count = Bride + groom + parents and close family of both. All head to a temple, exchange garlands, follow what ever small rituals are there and thats is. Badhaai ho, time. :) Now 10 years later, put this couple next to another couple who had a big wedding and tell me if the grandeur of the wedding actually made a difference. Marriage is a celebration of togetherness, of acceptance of each other, of wanting to look forward to a life together. Not how big the function was, how many food items were served, what kinda sweets, who wore what clothes and all those trivial trappings...
Save the money people. Spend it on the Newly Wed's honeymoon instead. Now THAT's a good idea ;)
Ah... If all wishes came true, i'd be on my way to exploring the universe. :) But it seems i have to go through this. Well, parents are charged up. Both Sandeep's and mine. We'd be the happiest people when we see the pride and joy in their eyes. And not to forget our families who probably can't stop talking about the wedding and all the girls who would be planning what to wear. We love them all! So cheers to the Indian Marriage. Bring on the laadus... Teehee!
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Friday, 11 December 2009
We are like this wonly....
All this while i was under the impression that if one is late to a class, you don't go and occupy a place right ahead. However, i was proved totally wrong by this person in today's gym class. 5 minutes into the class, when workout had begun, this woman walks in, stands right in front of me and starts off. So either I momentarily turned invisible or that lady left her brains at home.
Or is this just the usual behaviour of the average Indian? We are famous for these things aren't we? Impunctuality, disrespect for another's space, etc.. I guess everyone in the world, not just Indians, are sometimes proven guilty of these things but it's probably more prevalent in our country. Neither I nor you are exempt from this.
And there is a definite reason behind this woman's behavior. The common assumption that everything belong's to 'ME'. 'Me' being a reference to the individual. Everything can be tweaked to one's convenience, that one can get what one wants, that everything can be bought, so on and so forth. As we say here, 'Swalpa Adjust maadi'. It's such a common phrase, often written about as well. Perhaps this girl thought that for some reason it would give me unbounded happiness to adjust for her in class. Or it just didn't make a friggin' difference to her as long as she was comfortable.
And this feeling extends into so many other situations, oft experienced by everyone. Joining a friend in line despite 20+ people standing behind the friend. Conductors taking 2rs without issuing a ticket of 3rs just so that he'd make 2 bucks and the commuter would save 1rs, and the commuter would probably not refuse coz he/she saves a rupee. Autorickshaw drivers 'fixing' the meters so that it shows more than minimum fare for less than minimum distance and then fighting righteously for it. Yes, i have sometimes jumped a queue but that was so long ago and i've stopped since. I have asked for a ticket despite being tempted with a rupee being saved and fought pretty badly with autorickshaw drivers when they have overcharged. But i probably still do falter sometimes...
Guess Russel Peters is correct, Indians are just plain lazy. We don't like waiting, we like the easy way out even if it means cheating and causing inconvenience to someone else. It would've taken a very little amount of conscience on that girl's part to graciously stand behind but guess she lacks it.
And how many other occurrences? Over-taking from the left and then arguing that they are right in spite of causing a dent on another's vehicle, dismantling railway tracks to steal the steel, stealing power from power lines in remote areas, billing things twice at local food provision stores... The list can go on and on with these petty little things. Why is it that most people think that everything in the world, natural or man made is their property?
I also agree that not everyone is like this. However, it is also true that there are more of these wrong-doers in comparison. The GenNext (you and me), is a changed lot you say? I agree, only partly. I wouldn't say lack of education is the reason. There are many people who have a degree but would still take things for granted. It's awareness that's required. A large part of us are in other countries and follow the rules of the country we live in to the T but we refuse to apply the same ideology when we return to our own country. We would never honk in another country or speed up or break other traffic rules there. But what happens when we return, we break rules, we squeeze our vehicle inbetween 2 others just to get slightly ahead. There are few, very very few of those would be sticklers to rules. Sadly they get cursed at when they do so by the rest of the traffic. It's like that same old corruption story, as long as you're in the system you HAVE to be corrupt. Similarly, as long as you are in traffic you HAVE to break the rules. :)
It's high time we stopped calling the government employees corrupt. No I am not going on the same lines of 'Stop bribing to eliminate corruption'. To bribe, we have to get to the govt. office. And to get there, we have to cross traffic and stand in line awaiting our turn. And i bet most people lose the battle when they break traffic rules and jump queues. You don't even have to get to the govt. official. And when you do, don't look at him as if he's guilty. Coz we are just as corrupt as he is, albeit in a slightly different way.
I opine that our battle against this word 'corruption', a defunct system, has to start at our homes, streets, buses... Stop indulging in these tiny little acts as they go a long way in altering our school of thought and for the next generation as well. If we don't, we will still have to see our children migrate to 'phoreen' country and rave and rant about how organized it is, how clean it is while someone still continues dumping garbags 5ft outside an overflowing street dustbin, while compounds of some unfortunate building turn into well, toilets
Yes it's a layered country, far too many people with obstinate mind sets to change. But is so wish it does. I guess we all wish it does...
Or is this just the usual behaviour of the average Indian? We are famous for these things aren't we? Impunctuality, disrespect for another's space, etc.. I guess everyone in the world, not just Indians, are sometimes proven guilty of these things but it's probably more prevalent in our country. Neither I nor you are exempt from this.
And there is a definite reason behind this woman's behavior. The common assumption that everything belong's to 'ME'. 'Me' being a reference to the individual. Everything can be tweaked to one's convenience, that one can get what one wants, that everything can be bought, so on and so forth. As we say here, 'Swalpa Adjust maadi'. It's such a common phrase, often written about as well. Perhaps this girl thought that for some reason it would give me unbounded happiness to adjust for her in class. Or it just didn't make a friggin' difference to her as long as she was comfortable.
And this feeling extends into so many other situations, oft experienced by everyone. Joining a friend in line despite 20+ people standing behind the friend. Conductors taking 2rs without issuing a ticket of 3rs just so that he'd make 2 bucks and the commuter would save 1rs, and the commuter would probably not refuse coz he/she saves a rupee. Autorickshaw drivers 'fixing' the meters so that it shows more than minimum fare for less than minimum distance and then fighting righteously for it. Yes, i have sometimes jumped a queue but that was so long ago and i've stopped since. I have asked for a ticket despite being tempted with a rupee being saved and fought pretty badly with autorickshaw drivers when they have overcharged. But i probably still do falter sometimes...
Guess Russel Peters is correct, Indians are just plain lazy. We don't like waiting, we like the easy way out even if it means cheating and causing inconvenience to someone else. It would've taken a very little amount of conscience on that girl's part to graciously stand behind but guess she lacks it.
And how many other occurrences? Over-taking from the left and then arguing that they are right in spite of causing a dent on another's vehicle, dismantling railway tracks to steal the steel, stealing power from power lines in remote areas, billing things twice at local food provision stores... The list can go on and on with these petty little things. Why is it that most people think that everything in the world, natural or man made is their property?
I also agree that not everyone is like this. However, it is also true that there are more of these wrong-doers in comparison. The GenNext (you and me), is a changed lot you say? I agree, only partly. I wouldn't say lack of education is the reason. There are many people who have a degree but would still take things for granted. It's awareness that's required. A large part of us are in other countries and follow the rules of the country we live in to the T but we refuse to apply the same ideology when we return to our own country. We would never honk in another country or speed up or break other traffic rules there. But what happens when we return, we break rules, we squeeze our vehicle inbetween 2 others just to get slightly ahead. There are few, very very few of those would be sticklers to rules. Sadly they get cursed at when they do so by the rest of the traffic. It's like that same old corruption story, as long as you're in the system you HAVE to be corrupt. Similarly, as long as you are in traffic you HAVE to break the rules. :)
It's high time we stopped calling the government employees corrupt. No I am not going on the same lines of 'Stop bribing to eliminate corruption'. To bribe, we have to get to the govt. office. And to get there, we have to cross traffic and stand in line awaiting our turn. And i bet most people lose the battle when they break traffic rules and jump queues. You don't even have to get to the govt. official. And when you do, don't look at him as if he's guilty. Coz we are just as corrupt as he is, albeit in a slightly different way.
I opine that our battle against this word 'corruption', a defunct system, has to start at our homes, streets, buses... Stop indulging in these tiny little acts as they go a long way in altering our school of thought and for the next generation as well. If we don't, we will still have to see our children migrate to 'phoreen' country and rave and rant about how organized it is, how clean it is while someone still continues dumping garbags 5ft outside an overflowing street dustbin, while compounds of some unfortunate building turn into well, toilets
Yes it's a layered country, far too many people with obstinate mind sets to change. But is so wish it does. I guess we all wish it does...
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