Weddings are such a complicated affair, aren't they? Months of planning, huge expenditures, attention to details, blah blah blah... When Sandeep and I decided to get married 6 months ago and the marriage date was fixed as march 7th, there was still so much time then. Everyone was taking it easy. I don't mean to say that we procrastinated and now there's a shortage of time. It's just that the intricacies of planning a marriage did not come to the fore up until now. And now that we've begun planning, i find myself completely disagreeing with the concept of the marriage function in India. It's just a big waste! What should be a nice simple family gathering turns into a huge affair wherein the most important people, the bride, bridegroom parents of both the bride and bridegroom are stressed out.
Incessant meetings with people on stage with lights glaring at our faces. That's the first thing that scared me. I have absolutely no stage fright, but standing under those lights for a minute in the choultry made me shudder at the prospect of spending hours up there with additional lights from the cameras. It's blinding! And then there'd probably be more meetings on the next day with those who couldn't make it to the reception. This after following all rituals and sitting in front of the homa. I pity the bride. The men have it easy no? One panche and shalya. But us, the women. OMG! First there's that heavy silk saree. And then the jewellery. And then the hair and flowers. Enjoyable but only to an extent.
You know what i enjoyed a lot? My engagement. Simple family affair. My biggest wish right now would be to have just those many people for my wedding. Ok fine, 100 more. Will do!
I have a huge problem with standing for 300+ photos on the day of the reception. First, i'll me meeting people i haven't met in years and wouldn't be meeting for years after. And it would go without saying that i wouldn't remember them, so i'd have to pretend to remember them. And then pictures with them. Here's a question. Do we care if we take a photo with them or not? Here's another one. Do they care if they have a photo taken with us or not? Answer to both is no. I honestly don't. Brutal honesty, but i really don't. I'd look at pics with family and friends for hours but the rest is just not something i'm bothered about. I have been to many weddings and have stood with the bride and groom (whom i wouldn't remember or know) for a photo. You think i would show any interest in seeing it? Unless it's the wedding of a close relative or friend, it wouldn't matter. And deep within your heart, you don't care if you see your pics at those weddings you've been to as well ;)
It's all a massive waste. Now here's an interesting situation. Most people's wedding would have been a traditional big one. My mum's friend's wedding was simple. How simple, you ask? Lets see. Head count = Bride + groom + parents and close family of both. All head to a temple, exchange garlands, follow what ever small rituals are there and thats is. Badhaai ho, time. :) Now 10 years later, put this couple next to another couple who had a big wedding and tell me if the grandeur of the wedding actually made a difference. Marriage is a celebration of togetherness, of acceptance of each other, of wanting to look forward to a life together. Not how big the function was, how many food items were served, what kinda sweets, who wore what clothes and all those trivial trappings...
Save the money people. Spend it on the Newly Wed's honeymoon instead. Now THAT's a good idea ;)
Ah... If all wishes came true, i'd be on my way to exploring the universe. :) But it seems i have to go through this. Well, parents are charged up. Both Sandeep's and mine. We'd be the happiest people when we see the pride and joy in their eyes. And not to forget our families who probably can't stop talking about the wedding and all the girls who would be planning what to wear. We love them all! So cheers to the Indian Marriage. Bring on the laadus... Teehee!
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