Funny thing about our marriages is....

....that no one's really around for the important stuff. No wait. There's a bigger point. No one really knows why things are done in a certain way. Seen race horses? Or the tanga ones? With those things, what ever they are, tied to the sides of the eyes to prevent them for looking around lest they change their course of movement. That's exactly the way we have been brought up. Or some people have.

It's all symbolism. That's it. Just a symbol of our culture. Nothing really happens if you don't do it.

Why does only rice have to be put onto another's head? Why does anything have to be put onto another's head? Why did i have to bear the heat with 2 garlands atop an already heavy silk saree? What would've happened if i had taken off those garlands? Would it have been the end of the world? What would have happened if i didn't put my right foot forward by instead put my left foot forward? What would have happened if i didn't wear the basinga, which left nice pink imprints on my forehead? What would've happened if i hadn't used the right hand to pour water? Would the Gods, whom we call the givers of our body and soul be offended by something they themselves created? What change did sitting to the right of Sandeep after the tied the thali make? What makes anyone think that i have never sat to the right of his side ever? Why do we play akki-aane, uppina-aane games still, especially when the purohit himself said it has no significance?

And that's just one-tenth of the number of questions in my head. My 'take-away' from the ceremony. I know i'm making it sound like a big drone. The ceremony had it's amazing fun filled moments which i will iterate later. But the other aspects somehow over-shone them.

-Rice is a staple in India. Hence the importance. But hey, don't we eat more pasta and bread nowadays? How about throwing that as well over the head? :P
-I don't believe anything has to be put onto anyone's head. I made my hair look like it was clawed upon by 3 birds.
-Garlands must be avoided. Especially in summers.
-Right hand or foot is what most people use. That's the only reason it's given importance. Which is pretty demeaning for left handed people. Which is why so many people have a stigma against it. It's just the human genes at play. No one has control. But no one has an understanding of it. Hence the need to meddle.
- I still have no clue about the basinga. In fact, no one did! :)
- I wonder if God would get offended if i put a flower onto the idol with my left hand. Such a contradiction. We credit God for our body and yet we decide what is right and wrong with it. Again. No understanding, hence the need to meddle.
- I sat to the left of Sandeep and had food yesterday. It went down pretty well with me, the food that is.
- Wearing thaali and toe-rings are just an indication of a married woman. Paraphernalia. I am not unmarried just because i take them off.

Such complications. Hardly any clarity about them. Cut the frills out people and enjoy!  Purity of intentions is required. However, i dount if the couple getting married even knows what the rituals are 'intended' for. Such a shame.

The Great Indian Wedding... Speaking as an experienced soul

From the mallneeru, hoovelya, naandi, varapooje, reception, dhaare, sobalakki.... The rituals are mindboggling. And that's just a simple expression one can give to it. The innumerable small items, which are at the end only a representation of our culture are given so much importance with their sheer presence, that it makes you feel the marriage ceremony cannot proceed without it.


There is an apt kannada adage for this. "Mane katti nodu. Maduve maadi nodu". Which means that one must build a house and arrange for a marriage to truly understand what difficult tasks are. And boy is it true or what?

We are called the generation for 'instant gratification' not without reason. It's painful to go through it.


It's just much ado about nothing. That's the feeling i came back with post the wedding. It all boils down to the boy and the girl making promises of companionship to one another. And for this there are 25,749 rituals! Everyone's tired, and spent in energy.

Frankly speaking, and reflecting on a previous blog, Sandeep and I just performing an agni homa and taking oaths of togetherness would have sufficed. Both families went back with tons of exhaustion. The need for it was never there at all. I honestly feel the same as i did prior to the marriage ceremony. I was a companion to Sandeep then, i still am now and i will always be. The was the will of destiny. Having a ceremony did not make a difference to us. It only stressed us out.

Marriage ceremonies are a social obligation. I'm probably not as happy as i would've been if this had been a sweet simple affair. Point made, blog written. Moving on to the next one. :)